This is Your Life

So here I am, the night before I leave for Guatemala. The last night that I'm going to sleep in my own bed for a week and a half, and I am writing a paper.

Good thing I have Pandora, right? What would I do without it?

This weekend was incredible. It was just the reminder I needed. I spent incredible time with my friends, and I am just so thankful that I have a loving, amazing, awesome group of supportive friends.
And now tonight, I'm writing this paper, and all of a sudden, as if Pandora knows exactly what lyric I need to hear, This is Your Life by Switchfoot starts playing.

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?

Goodness gracious. This isn't the life I want. I don't want to be stuck living in the future (which is what I have been doing lately). I want to appreciate what I have now. Of course I want to get married, get a real job, have kids, move on from school. But not now. Now, I need to appreciate the people I have the opportunity to live with. Now, I need to learn as much as I possibly can from school (that's why I'm here, don't ya know). I need to make as many relationships as possible, and enjoy them to the full extent before this chapter of my life closes.

It's hard to believe, but after this semester, I'll be half way done with my entire college career. After that, I don't have the slightest idea where I'll be going, what I'll be doing... But I know that now, I love school, I love my friends, my family, my church.

God is good. He is Faithful, Creator, Holy, Loving, and Sovereign. Thank goodness we can rely on Him to be these things, because we fall short. All day. Everyday.

A light into my dark place.

Well here it is folks, the midsemester slump. It's hit me hard this semester. It's also coupled with the fact that I am going to Guatemala in 11 days (which, don't get me wrong, is super exciting... It's just overwhelming, and I just don't want to do anything but go to Guatemala).

I am pretty much pooped. I feel so apathetic. I don't want to do work. I don't want to go to class. (you shouldn't feel sorry for me, by the way... There's no real reason I feel this way, I think).

Anyways, lately, I've been in a slump. A Funk. A groove.

So today, I decided that I needed Jesus. Which I guess is a pretty good realization, and I wish I realized it more to be quite honest. It'd be nice if I had this thought everyday, because this realization is truth, all day, everyday.

Let me tell you that I am not the "open my Bible randomly and let God speak to me that way" kind of person. I like to read through sections of scripture at a time.
But today, I opened my Bible, on the way to the New Testament, when I opened Jeremiah. I opened to Jeremiah 31 specifically. I didn't read it all. I just read part of it.

 ^1(A) "At that time, declares the LORD,^(B) I will be the God of all the clans of Israel, and they shall be my people."
 ²Thus says the LORD:"The people who survived the sword
   found grace in the wilderness;
^(C) when Israel sought for rest,
 ³the LORD appeared to him^[a] from far away.
^(D) I have loved you with an everlasting love;
   therefore^(E) I have continued^(F) my faithfulness to you.
^4(G) Again I will build you, and you shall be built,
   O virgin Israel!
^(H) Again you shall adorn yourself with tambourines
   and shall go forth in^(I) the dance of the merrymakers.
^5(J) Again you shall plant vineyards
   on the mountains of Samaria;
the planters shall plant
   and shall enjoy the fruit.

He has loved me with an everlasting love; therefore He has continued His faithfulness to me. Again He will build me, and I shall be built. Again I shall adorn myself with tambourines and shall go forth in the dance of merrymakers.
(I'm such and Israelite!)

I will get through this "slump." And I will be built up again. I will dance with the merrymakers. Even though right now, I feel exhausted, He is faithful, and He provides.

It has been a sort of dark time this week. At the end of wind ensemble every Wednesday, a group of people get together and pray for our group, our school, our community, country, town, etc. I go every week to this prayer meeting because it's really encouraging to me. So this week, I went, but I couldn't pray. I don't know why.... But I definitely think that other people realized it (non-verbal cues, I guess).
I am glad I felt the realization that I need Jesus today because I was very encouraged by reading His Word today! God is good 100% all the time!

Home

"Home is whenever I'm with you."
"Home is where the heart is."
"Home is where you're comfortable."
"Home is where your family is."
"Home is where your 'family' is."
"Home is where you can be you."

I've been thinking of home today. It's weird because when I'm at home, I call Roberts home and when I'm at Roberts, I say home" which means home home.

However, if home is defined by the criterion above, then I have about three homes. I've got Roberts, real home, and Camp.

1) First off (I'll go by oldest in my life)- Home

(my family minus my Dad)

I've lived in the same home all my life. With these people. This has definitely been a huge blessing in my life. I feel so blessed to have been raised in constant stability. My family has always been there. Especially as we all got older, I can remember sitting at the dining room table for hours just talking about important stuff (or not important stuff, for that matter). But anyways, my parents' house will always be a home for me, even when we're done living there, even though I know it will be different (it's different even now that I've moved to school). But  even more than the house, my family will always be home to me. The have been for (almost) 19 years, and I can't wait to live life with them for however many more we have together.


2) Camp!

I have been going to camp for 13 years (ten years as a camper, and three full summers as staff). Camp is summer home. It seriously is the best place in the world to me. I have found a second family there, and I wouldn't change anything about my experience there. It honestly changed my life. I consider the staff there to be my sisters, and I love them more than words could say. My best friends work at camp with me, and I know it's a place where I can always be true to myself, and that is such a blessing in my life. I can't wait to see what God has in store for us for this summer!


3) Roberts!

(The people I work/live/play with)
Roberts is my most recent home. I live here, I work here, I go to school here, I play here. It's everything. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it's a college and not just somewhere I work/live/attend/play. It's weird. I've never had one specific place that is so many different places in one. But it's pretty great. I love it here. I have a family here, and I am so glad that God has placed me here. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

So pretty much, home is a very general thing in my life. I have multiple homes... And while this can be confusing sometimes, It works great most of the time. Just never tell your mom that you feel homeless. I tried that this summer. I went from school, to an apartment out here, to home for a week, to camp all summer, home for another week and then off to school again. I felt like a nomad. But now, I've come to accept my three homes.... And I'm so happy I have.

Why I Blog

There are two things you need to know before continuing this post:

1) The Beacon is our school newspaper. I LOVE the Beacon. I'm quite positively their biggest fan. I'm not sure why I love it so much. But I like it so much that they gave me a copy of their last issue and signed it.

2) This could be a weird blog entry... I'm not really sure what it's going to turn into.

ANYWAYS. 

Yesterday, as I was walking through the library (because I live there), a friend stopped me and asked me if she could quote me in The Beacon. Naturally, I said yes (because I love the Beacon). Then she (Jessica) asked me why I blogged. 

Me being me, I sat there and tried to think of something clever to say... And when I couldn't I said "I wish I could say that I blog because I have something important to say..." and then I paused for a minute, trying to think about why I blog (or attempt to). And I said something like "I guess it's just a way for me to write down my thoughts and things I realize."

I honestly don't think I have a true, basic reason to why I blog (why am I writing this now?). I just think it's a really cool concept, to be able to write things in an online and it also helps me debrief my life. 

I move at a fast pace (which is something my Mom probably wouldn't agree to... She's always told me that I have one speed- s l o w). But now, in college, and especially this semester, I am incredibly busy every second, it feels like. I think blogging gives me a chance to unwind, and think about what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.

So that's me/this blog in a nutshell! 

Music Update!

I don't know if you people know this... But I love love love music. I love listening to it. I love playing it. I love singing it. I love the poetry in it. I love the sounds. I love the harmony. I could go on and on and on and on.... I just love it so much. And I think it's really important.
I'm not one to brag... But I will say that I listen to some pretty great music. So I was thinking about doing this once a week or something...
And lately, the music that's been rocking my world lately is City and Colour! City and Colour is a solo project by Dallas Green. He has a phenomenal voice that I am literally in love with. And the man has tattoos. Which I love (usually).
They just put out a new CD called "Little Hell." And I've been listening to it non stop for days (Overexaggeration). But anywhoo... Dallas Green is fabulous.

A Break

This weekend was Columbus Day weekend... You know what that means! FALL BREAK. My family spent the time in the Adirondacks at Silver Bay. It was beautiful.

So, I had to work on Friday night (because I'm crazy). I drove home on Friday after work (and after I packed around nine). And we left around 6:30am on Saturday morning. When we arrived around lunch time on Saturday, we spent the day relaxing, playing tennis, and eating. On Sunday, we went hiking, kayaking, more reading and eating. We headed home on Monday (yesterday).

Welp, it was a quick trip. I knew it was going to be, but I never really realized it was going to be that quick. And now I've gotta be ready to go back to school so soon. I can't believe it. We're already half way done with the first semester.... It's crazy!

Well, anyways, I did learn a few things this weekend, and I guess I'd like to share them.
Pretty much, I need to learn to rest in God. I don't sleep much at school, but I can find the ultimate rest in Him.
This break was the break I needed from my own head. I was going a little crazy stuck there. Doesn't really make sense, but it will one day.

Anyways, I should really get packed up. Stay tuned!

Introductions

I have this weird feeling that I should introduce myself. I'm not really sure why, since most of the other people reading this will be the same as before (my mom, my sisters, etc). But here are a few facts about myself:

1. I am in college (obviously). I go to a small, Christian, Liberal Arts school in New York, and I love it. I love pretty much everything about it.
2. I am a library rat to the core. I know it's not something people are generally proud of, but I really enjoy being at the library to do my homework. I also work there, so it's not completely my fault. (2 1/2, I love books)
3. I love music. I play in the wind ensemble. Which is funny because I'm a Social Work major.
4. I love people. I believe that we were meant to be where we are, with who we are with for a reason. We were all meant to interact on this Earth, and we were meant to teach, encourage, change, love on another.
5. I love Jesus!
6. I love books.
7. I have a strange ability of "calling" relationships. I can tell easily when two people like one another, usually before they even know it.
8. I am really good at finding four-leaf clovers; I found 13 in one hour once.
9. I work at Camp Cherith. It is honestly the best place in the world to me. I've been a camper there all my life, and now I work there. It's awesome. I've made my best friends there.

I guess that's it. I feel satisfied that I've fulfilled the need that wasn't really there.

A Fresh Start

So here goes. A new beginning. A different venue. A new perspective. This is my new blog. I was formally on Tumblr, and I may end up pasting some of my old blogs from there to this one. I feel as though I will actually write more on here than there. Tumblr has a high focus on just funny pictures and things like that. I want to write a blog.
So here it goes. I like the idea of being able to put pictures up. And I would love to put a lot of them up, but I don't take pictures very much. It's definitely something that I want to get better at. Maybe this will help :)
Anyways, I don't really know what else to write about.... Perhaps I'll have something to say while I'm at work tonight.